Ever had one of those days that everything just turned to shit? Well yesterday was one of those days for me. I woke up got out of bed and was performing my usual routine when it felt like a brick fell from my throat and landed in the bottom of my stomach. I spent the rest of the day pissing yellow bile out my ass. It was great. I think I ate a total of one bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios that promptly made an oncore performance into the bathtub next to the toilet. It got to the point that I could no longer even wipe about 1:00 it was pat it dry time. I longed for the days when the kids were in diapers I sure could have used some baby wipes about then. I must have taken 15 showers yesterday. Today my asshole sparkles like the Hope Diamond.
Then to top it off my dad calls me about 11:00 am and informed me that he and my mom are at the Emergency Room getting my mom looked at. She has been sick for the last few days and they finally went in. The sawbone checked her into ICU for monitoring. I almost shit my pants (which would not have been a hard thing to do) when Dad called me and relayed the news. ICU! WTF? Turns out they wanted to put her in IMU which is not as scary as hearing ICU but still I don't like having my mom in the hospital in any capacity. Her problem is she has MS and cannot cough the phlegm up, so any kind of chest infection for her easily turns to pneumonia. In that case I would rather have her where she can have 24/7 monitoring and can get plenty of help. I am going up to see her in just a few minutes. I will get the same old talk I get anytime either one of them has been in the hospital. "You can't help me standing around in here. Go back to work and take care of business and don't be calling everyone in the family freaking them out. Now get out of here." I'm gonna go get some flowers and see how she is doing.
I fucking hate hospitals. But I will endure 30 minutes or so for my mom.
Maybe they can tell me what is wrong with my asshole while I am there.